The Mega Church Debate - Are We Barking Up the Wrong Tree?

In the past week, there was an interesting debate in the Straits Times forum on a letter sent by a parent (Dr Lee) who wrote to warn about the teaching of mega churches and how it has led (at least in her experience) to fallen grades and disassociation of family customs and traditions.

Immediately following that letter, many on both sides of the fences responded with clarifications, examples, counter-examples or warnings. Many well-meaning supporters were quick to point out that the Bible is clear on the need to honour your father and mother. Some pointed out, rightfully, that it is too simplistic to blame church activities for fallen grades and family neglect. Others wrote of horror stories of how their children were led astray by cultic church group leaders to reject their parents and their traditions.

As a parent, I can empathise with the perennial concerns over what we view as negative influences of the world. There are also no excuse to be made for people who exploit the church and the teachings of the Bible for their own personal gains. Black sheeps do exist within the church and its leaders need to do more to weed such behaviours from the church.

Having said that, I think the conclusion that the mega churches are responsible for the children behaviour is too simplistic. As any parent will tell you, we play a very important and critical role in the way we bring up our children. Like it or not, we lay the foundation from which our children build up their world-view and it takes extraordinary amount of time, effort, discipline and patience to get it roughly right. The final ingredient is open communications and respect for our children's viewpoints, which is very important when the child reaches his teens and experiments with the concept of independence. Questionable church practices aside, parents like Dr Lee needs to first look inwards to examine the root cause before indiscriminately taking the churches in Singapore to task for leading her children astray. Perhaps she should spend the effort in writing the letter towards a heart-to-heart talk with her children and re-establish the bond of open communication and understanding. I think this would have been more fruitful.

Finally, just to kill the issue once and for all, the Bible is clear about children's responsibility to their fathers and mothers. In fact, in the Ten Commandments, the commandment to honour your father and mother is the only commandment that brings with it blessing for the one who obey.


Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. (Colossians 3:21)